Moonlight by Guy de Maupassant
Madame Julie Roubere was expecting her elder sister, Madame
Henriette Letore, who had just returned from a trip to Switzerland.
The Letore household had left nearly five weeks before.
Madame Henriette had allowed her husband to return alone to their estate in
Calvados, where some business required his attention, and had come to spend a
few days in Paris with her sister. Night came on. In the quiet parlor Madame
Roubere was reading in the twilight in an absent-minded way, raising her eyes
whenever she heard a sound.
At last, she heard a ring at the door, and her sister
appeared, wrapped in a travelling cloak. And without any formal greeting, they
clasped each other in an affectionate embrace, only desisting for a moment to
give each other another hug. Then they talked about their health, about their
respective families, and a thousand other things, gossiping, jerking out
hurried, broken sentences as they followed each other about, while Madame
Henriette was removing her hat and veil.
It was now quite dark. Madame Roubere rang for a lamp, and
as soon as it was brought in, she scanned her sister's face, and was on the
point of embracing her once more. But she held back, scared and astonished at
the other's appearance.
On her temples Madame Letore had two large locks of white
hair. All the rest of her hair was of a glossy, raven-black hue; but there
alone, at each side of her head, ran, as it were, two silvery streams which
were immediately lost in the black mass surrounding them. She was,
nevertheless, only twenty-four years old, and this change had come on suddenly
since her departure for Switzerland.
Without moving, Madame Roubere gazed at her in amazement,
tears rising to her eyes, as she thought that some mysterious and terrible
calamity must have befallen her sister. She asked:
"What is the matter with you, Henriette?"
Smiling with a sad face, the smile of one who is heartsick,
the other replied:
"Why, nothing, I assure you. Were you noticing my white
hair?"
But Madame Roubere impetuously seized her by the shoulders,
and with a searching glance at her, repeated:
"What is the matter with you? Tell me what is the
matter with you. And if you tell me a falsehood, I'll soon find it out."
They remained face to face, and Madame Henriette, who looked
as if she were about to faint, had two pearly tears in the corners of her
drooping eyes.
Her sister continued:
"What has happened to you? What is the matter with you?
Answer me!"
Then, in a subdued voice, the other murmured:
"I have--I have a lover."
And, hiding her forehead on the shoulder of her younger
sister, she sobbed.
Then, when she had grown a little calmer, when the heaving
of her breast had subsided, she commenced to unbosom herself, as if to cast
forth this secret from herself, to empty this sorrow of hers into a sympathetic
heart.
Thereupon, holding each other's hands tightly clasped, the
two women went over to a sofa in a dark corner of the room, into which they
sank, and the younger sister, passing her arm over the elder one's neck, and
drawing her close to her heart, listened.
"Oh! I know that there was no excuse for me; I do not
understand myself, and since that day I feel as if I were mad. Be careful, my
child, about yourself--be careful! If you only knew how weak we are, how
quickly we yield, and fall. It takes so little, so little, so little, a moment
of tenderness, one of those sudden fits of melancholy which come over you, one
of those longings to open, your arms, to love, to cherish something, which we
all have at certain moments.
"You know my husband, and you know how fond I am of
him; but he is mature and sensible, and cannot even comprehend the tender
vibrations of a woman's heart. He is always the same, always good, always
smiling, always kind, always perfect. Oh! how I sometimes have wished that he
would clasp me roughly in his arms, that he would embrace me with those slow,
sweet kisses which make two beings intermingle, which are like mute
confidences! How I have wished that he were foolish, even weak, so that he
should have need of me, of my caresses, of my tears!
"This all seems very silly; but we women are made like
that. How can we help it?
"And yet the thought of deceiving him never entered my
mind. Now it has happened, without love, without reason, without anything,
simply because the moon shone one night on the Lake of Lucerne.
"During the month when we were travelling together, my
husband, with his calm indifference, paralyzed my enthusiasm, extinguished my
poetic ardor. When we were descending the mountain paths at sunrise, when as
the four horses galloped along with the diligence, we saw, in the transparent
morning haze, valleys, woods, streams, and villages, I clasped my hands with
delight, and said to him: 'How beautiful it is, dear! Give me a kiss! Kiss me
now!' He only answered, with a smile of chilling kindliness: 'There is no
reason why we should kiss each other because you like the landscape.'
"And his words froze me to the heart. It seems to me
that when people love each other, they ought to feel more moved by love than
ever, in the presence of beautiful scenes.
"In fact, I was brimming over with poetry which he kept
me from expressing. I was almost like a boiler filled with steam and
hermetically sealed.
"One evening (we had for four days been staying in a
hotel at Fluelen) Robert, having one of his sick headaches, went to bed
immediately after dinner, and I went to take a walk all alone along the edge of
the lake.
"It was a night such as one reads of in fairy tales.
The full moon showed itself in the middle of the sky; the tall mountains, with
their snowy crests, seemed to wear silver crowns; the waters of the lake
glittered with tiny shining ripples. The air was mild, with that kind of
penetrating warmth which enervates us till we are ready to faint, to be deeply
affected without any apparent cause. But how sensitive, how vibrating the heart
is at such moments! how quickly it beats, and how intense is its emotion!
"I sat down on the grass, and gazed at that vast,
melancholy, and fascinating lake, and a strange feeling arose in me; I was
seized with an insatiable need of love, a revolt against the gloomy dullness of
my life. What! would it never be my fate to wander, arm in arm, with a man I
loved, along a moon-kissed bank like this? Was I never to feel on my lips those
kisses so deep, delicious, and intoxicating which lovers exchange on nights
that seem to have been made by God for tenderness? Was I never to know ardent,
feverish love in the moonlit shadows of a summer's night?
"And I burst out weeping like a crazy woman. I heard
something stirring behind me. A man stood there, gazing at me. When I turned my
head round, he recognized me, and, advancing, said:
"'You are weeping, madame?'
"It was a young barrister who was travelling with his
mother, and whom we had often met. His eyes had frequently followed me.
"I was so confused that I did not know what answer to
give or what to think of the situation. I told him I felt ill.
"He walked on by my side in a natural and respectful
manner, and began talking to me about what we had seen during our trip. All
that I had felt he translated into words; everything that made me thrill he
understood perfectly, better than I did myself. And all of a sudden he repeated
some verses of Alfred de Musset. I felt myself choking, seized with
indescribable emotion. It seemed to me that the mountains themselves, the lake,
the moonlight, were singing to me about things ineffably sweet.
"And it happened, I don't know how, I don't know why,
in a sort of hallucination.
"As for him, I did not see him again till the morning
of his departure.
"He gave me his card!"
And, sinking into her sister's arms, Madame Letore broke
into groans-- almost into shrieks.
Then, Madame Roubere, with a self-contained and serious air,
said very gently:
"You see, sister, very often it is not a man that we
love, but love itself. And your real lover that night was the moonlight."
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